The shattered imaget - ch 6: Lunch with friends

I was nervous... today. I vowed that it would be today!
GOSH WHY IS IT SO HARD....
"Tsukino"
***ACK****
Ah.. a girl from my class.
"We were wondering if you wanted to join us for lunch?"
"Eh?"
"Lunch. With us. Now?"
I realized I must have had the most dumbfounded expression anyone could ever make.
"Y-yes!!"
Pppft.. gahaha!
The girl laughed at me..
Where they making fun of me...?
"I-im sorry, it was just... your face were priceless!! Youre hilarious Tsukino! Im Tanaka Aya and this is..."
"Hibino Isumi!" Such eager voice..
"Sorry Isu-chan tend to be shy"
...."stop it.."
"I see... its making me more at ease... im very shy too..." I blurted out my secret. Way to go Haruka!
"You are!?" Hibinos voice was so loud, people near us started to stare.
Her face turned brightly red. So cute..
"I-I mean... ummh.."
"Heh, its fine. Lets try our best!" Tanaka seemed like such a cheerful and supporting person.

The shattered image - ch 5: The counseling

"How was school?"
"Fine"

"Did you make any friends"
"I talked with some" Lie...

"Were you nervous"
She will discover I'm lying if I say I weren't
"Yes. But that's only normal"
"Sure, it would be weird if you weren't! Have you had ny nightmares lately? Do they appear more frequently now that you're under more pressure?"

I knew that if I were to spoil the truth, she would just dig in it... Maybe even move me from High school, but I refuse to move a step back! Not now when I finally moved forward...

"No they haven't appeared for long."
"That's wonderful news!"

I have decided to start dealing with this myself. For so long now, I feel like she is only confusing me..
"I see... and you haven't had any... inexpiable picture popping up now have you?"
The room suddenly became all black, it shaded itself into a white shade, I was lying down on a bed, locked up. The nightmare that constantly haunted me had suddenly taken over my mind.
"Tsukino?"
"Ah yes! Sorry for spacing out, I suddenly realized I had forgotten my purse  the school! What do I do!?"
I can only imagine what an anxious expression I must have had, so this lie seemed fitting
"Oh my gosh! No wonder you suddenly look so scared!"
"Do you mind if I check?"
"Listen Tsukino-san. I don't think we have to continue today... your mind is already booked up with what happened today, so you clearly don't need me today."
"Im sorry...."
"Don't apologize! I wasn't accusing you, I'm happy for you!"
Good she wasn't mad...
"Yes. Then, I'll be going!"
"Don't forget to get a new appointment!"
YES I will!
"Suuuure..."

Yes. I got rid of her! I kinda feel bad.. What the hell, I KNOW I can deal with this myself. And tomorrow, I gotta talk with someone!

The shattered image - ch 4: Missing pieces of a puzzle

The day went by (somewhat) easy. I didnt get to talk to anyone (besides the foreginer..) but even so it was still a huge step to take! I got to actually be among others! My middleschool years went by with homeschooling and social interact practise, and I dont remember or know what I used to do, when it comes to school (or anything else for that matter) before I lost my memories. I went in at the door to my therapist. Today we were going to talk about how it was, my first day at school... I dont feel like talking to her today. Im always left with a feeling, that Im even more at lost than before I visit her. Its as if she tries to prevent me from remember...

"Tsukino Haruka" i said at the desk
"Just a moment"
.......
"Yes, youre are registered"

I sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room. On the wall in front of me were a mirror. I wonder what other people are feeling when they see their own reflection? I see a girl with missing pieces. A unfinished puzzle, were the last pieces are gone - and even though you can see what the image is portraying, but
.. it's just not worth anything looking at a unfinished puzzle. The first thing you see is the missing pieces..

"Tsukino-san?"
"Yes!"
I followed my therapist into the counsil room.

The shattered image - ch. 3: The start

In front of a gate, endless of young people passing by me. All of them with matching clothes. Dark blue skirts for the girls, and trousers for the guys. Dark grey jackets, and white shirts underneath. This is indeed the people Im going to see for the next 3 years of my life.
I make my passage through all of the young people starting today. The corridors are full of small groups talking. They probably know each ocher from middle school..
What if I am going to be the only one who doesn't know anybody? Will I be all alone?
Nervousness fills my body and my throat starts to hurt. What if... What if.. What if...

*BUMP*

Ouch... "Im so sorry..."
"You shouldn't be spacing out!"
A handsome boy stands before me... With his bleached hair, and light eyes. He looks like a foreigner.
Then... Then.. Maybe I won't be all alone! I might not be the only one who doesn't know anybody!
"..ehm.?"
I snapped out of my thoughts... Geez - just how embarrassing am I going to be?
 "Ah, Im sorry for bumping into you. Excuse me!"
I walked as fast I could  towards my classroom. I was in class 1-2
Not many people had entered the room. A couple of students were sitting at their desk, others had gathered in a crowd and talked.
That foreigner from before was really handsome.. But I wonder if he were half Japanese? His Japanese was so good!
As I blocked the entrance to the class room I was waken up yet again from my daze..
"You do space out a lot huh?"
Oh my god.... It was him again. Could I have made any worse first impression?
"I am so sorry!"
I rushed to the furthest seat at the very back and placed my bag on top of it.
Idiot... Idiot... Idiot...

The teacher entered the class and the student whom had stand in the crowd before, started to take their seats.
"I will - as of today - be your homeroom teacher. My name is Akaran Sato"
Akaran... Got it..
"We will soon attend the opening ceremony together, but before that I would ask one of you to hand out these entry documents for the Rush tour. Your parents will need to sign it, so be sure to bring it home! Otherwise you won't be able to attend the get-together-event"
A Rush tour, huh? It seemed like an ideal way to get to know my class mates.

The shattered image - ch 2: On my way

"Have you been sleeping well honey?"
"Yes, mom"

My biological parents died in a car accident 5 years ago, and that's probably why I lost my memory. The family Tsukino has been taking care of me ever since I was rehabillitated after my reborn. They have been very good to me.
After their first child they became inable to have children due to birthcomplications. So I have a big sister as well..
It makes me wonder if I had any siblings before and if they died in the accident as well?

OUCH! Headache... jesus I got to stop wondering! But I guess the past will keep lingering in my mind..
"....ka..
"HARUKA!?"
"What!?.."
"Geez... are you ever listening? You are the only one I know whom can space out so much during a conversation, and actually not doing it on purpose.. what were you thinking about?"

"Im sorry mom.. I was just nervouse for today" I hate making her worried... last time I had that nightmare, I would space out at the weirdest time and she ended up having me hospitalitized because I was in danger of myself... So protective that mom, but I guess thats how moms are...

"Right! Off you go - it would be Embarrasing being late on the first day!"

I took my bento (lunchbox) my mom had  cooked for me, my bag and jacket, and went out the house.

Im Haruka Tsukino, 15 year old, Japanese, living in Japan - and as of today Im a high school student!

The shattered image - ch. 1: The hunting Nightmare

As I anxiously stared at the two men in white shirts, they started to take action. The room was slightly lighted, white and steriled. I realized it must have been a hospital room, but why was I there?
Their eyes went from looking at me to themselves. Their mouths were moving, but all I heard was a slight ringing almost drown out by a heavy hear-blocking feeling, the feeling you get before fainting. But why? My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was about to burst. My pulse was way too fast for me to be fainting - and the anxiety. Overwhelming fear... something they said had made me fear what came next, so why coulndt I hear them now?

I now realized I was locked up. I was strapped fast to the bed. I was here against my will?

For a sudden moment my hearing became clear, the only sentence I would hear, the only clue for my reason to be here. "We have to ... erase her memory"
The next thing I know is the unbearable feeling of painful electric shock shot into my brain.

I woke up in my bed. The clock showed 02:54 am. I had have the same nighmare again. The very same nightmare that have been hunting me for 5 years. After I was "reborn" 5 years ago, I have had this nightmare... was it really just a nightmare? Or was it how I lost my memory?

The therapy says it's my brains' way of comming up with a explination on how I lost my memory - but... it just feels so real. Its almost as Im feeling the pain all over again!

As usual these thoughts are giving me a headache. Its my first day of High school tomorrow. I better get some sleep....

New purpose for this blog

So I never really ended up writing here on this blog... so i decided to change the theme!
I have always been into writing novels and short stories, and have been doing that since a young age (13 yo or so..) and lately i have got to know about cellphone novels, (heard about it from mangas xD) and i remembered i used to read and write small chapters on forums. So its gonna be kinda like that.
I have endless of stories i have come up with, and i dont think i ever will fit all of them into mangas. So here it goes! I hope you will enjoy!

When i get up tomorrow, i will change the name on the blog, you cant, apparantly, change it from the app...

Please feel free to comment on chapters and point out my grammar mistakes. English is not my native language and i may make mistakes.