I kept having nightmares that night. Hour after hour I would wake up from one theory to another on how I had come to loose my memory. It was everything from car crash to alien abduction. Yep. Pretty much everything. I woke up feeling exhausted, confused and kind of amused by my brains many odd ideas. Though I was pretty tired from the lack of uninterrupted sleep, I felt much better than yesterday. I was still set on getting to know my past life, and I was going to do it regardless of what others had to say. I wanted to know my parents and myself. When you suddenly loose your memories, you loose your identity. You loose your confidence, your previous likes and dislikes. Its like you don't know yourself. You're like a stranger. Regardless of my effort of creating a new me, it still felt wrong. Like a whole part of me was missing.
I sat up in bed. I was going to go through with whatever rehabilitation they thought I needed, then I would go back to school, perfectly determined. I didn't care what they thought. I didn't care what my mother thought. At some point I had to be exposed to the world. I couldn't be locked indoor forever, I would have to at some point taking part in society, the sooner the better. And I couldnt live in this bliss forever. I had to know what my mind was keeping me from.
My mother entered the room at that point, seeing me smirk to myself. She laughed out loud. "Jesus christ, you just passed out yesterday and here you are looking all happy!". "Well, I wont let this beat me!". Her facial expression changed. I knew what was comming next. "I beat you to it" I said looking out the window, trying to smile slightly. I turned my head toward her again and she looked confused and kinda of anxious. "I heard you talking with Kouro. I know you're not happy about me passing out, and stuff. And I know that all you want to do is to care for me. That's what a mother do and I am indeed grateful for that." I took a deep breath as she listened to me closely. "...But I'm not going to drop out of school. I have been thinking about it, and sooner or later I'll have to join society. I might as well do it now, before it gets too difficult. I think I'm ready to meet whatever life will throw at me." I paused. The next sentenced would scare her, maybe even break her heart. "I want to know my past life." She changed from looking interested to surprised and then incredible angry. She stopped herself from speaking, then looked across me to observe the outside. The sky was mildly cloudly but through clouds the sun was peaking every now and then. It looked nice.
"Haruka..." She began. "I understand that you're soon 16. You're still a child but I also think that you think things through well. You're not a reckless person, and I guess I'm just overprotecting. Your dad told me yesterday that I will have to treat you like an adult, since you're practical one in 2 years. I know you still need our guidance, and I need to let you go little by little..." tears streamed down her face, and my heart ached badly, but this was needed. I silently watched her, as she fought to clear her voice and continue. "Haruka... I would advise against you digging through your mind, but I also know that you have to know at some point. I would rather have you know it while we're around to help you, than when you have created a life of your own."
I was surprised. I hadn't thought she was going to agree to this so quickly.
"Thank you for understanding" I smiled at her, and got up. I walked toward her and grabbed her in my arms. I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back in a firm grip. I didn't care what was going to show up in my mind. This would always be my home, and my current parents would always be real parents to me.
A tight lump began to form in my chest, and it was as if my neck started twisting. My body started to stir up and anxiety slowly spread through my body. Just what was I going to go through?
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