Randomness part 1

**I decided to write short random 'stories'. It will be from whatever my mind is whirling on**

Will it ever get better? My anxiety that is... Will it forever to continue infuse my mind and make me tremble with frustration? Its making my mind weak, my thoughts unclear and my feelings unstable. Anxiety is... A overwhelming intense feeling of fear. Fear of... nothing, fears of ridiculous things.. Fears of my own kind in a way it's meaningless. How can one know it's not rational yet still experience anxiety? Where is the meaning in that? To know it's not real, to know it's ones mind playing tricks, to know it isn't like that - yet still feel like this? It's like my mind has it's own separated part of it where it unreasonable is feeling these intense fears, and the rest is watching from outside knowing this is not real.
Not real.

My fears... are not real.

As a shadow creeping up from the darkness, spreading, till it eventually infuses the light and left is nothing but black. Surrounded... by shadows, unable to see the light outside this bubble of darkness.
What is it, that makes this so hard to fight?
Is it my experience?
My invisible scars on my heart?
The never-ending voice in my head, telling me how I am a failure?

My mind is as a separated place, where uncertainty. knowledge and rationality lies, refusing to work together. To become one.
I am as splinted as a mirror in thousand pieces, each showing a different side.
What is this?